Friends

Insanity makes you stronger. I await Insanity. Because I need the strength. Because my ego is in tatters and even the slightest nudge is enough to start a spiral into paranoia. Will you be my friend?

Faith and Hope. Twin weapons against despair. A bastion against hopelessness. Or are you a momentary delusion that shields from us bitter reality. Are you a strength, or a fatal chink in the armour? A blessing, or a delaying of the inevitable? A miracle worker, or a plea for ignorance? The ego is like a fragile eggshell. So anything, everything that can prevent it from shattering is welcome. And so I welcome you Faith. I welcome you Hope. Will you be my friends? Will you introduce me to Courage?

But Doubt manages to creep in too. The "What ifs". “Am I being a made a fool of?”.” Are people laughing behind my back?”.” Am I too much of a coward to see how insignificant I really am?” Doubt strips away the clothing of Faith and Hope surrounding the ego, leaving it naked and exposed. It rapes the mind, tears at it like a wild beast, devours it and yet is insatiable. Seldom does reality outmatch the horrors which our doubts and our insecurities serve up. Though they serve the purpose of teaching you to survive, to attack or flee before you are attacked or hurt, left unchecked they cripple and maim than serve a useful purpose. You are my enemies. Faith, Hope, Courage, fortify my defenses against these intruders who seek to destroy the peace.

But I grow weary. My defenses wilt under the constant barrage of attacks. Doubt, Anger, Revenge, Jealousy, Hatred, Envy. They are relentless in their onslaught.

Indifference, my armour. Clothe me, protect me and shelter me. Till reality softens the imaginary blows my mind conjures up.

Blessed Sleep. Welcome me into your arms. So I may find respite and comfort, even if its only for a little while, from the harsh battles of my waking hours.

Time heal my wounds and help me forget. Lend me your shoulder and carry me forward along with you, leaving behind my past regrets and disappointments.

You are all my friends.

Mind, you are both my best friend and my worst enemy. You are the originator of all emotions, good and bad. You are the one who defines my reality, who defines my very existence. You are me. But hate takes its toll on me. So does doubt, anger, jealousy and revenge. I do not wish to define my existence in terms of misery and despair. I wish to suffer no more.
Mind, be my friend. Please!!!

EXISTENZE

I cannot exist without others. It is only in the presence of entities other than the “Self” does the concept of “Self” hold meaning. Therefore I derive an Identity, Uniqueness, Individuality, not because I alone exist, but because there exists a crowd of “Others”, each who defines himself by using every other person (including myself) as a reference.


Continuing along the same line of thought, it perhaps may not be too far-fetched to conclude that god himself exists because of his creations. His creations are what define him although his creations might not necessarily BE him. Something on the lines of how I exist because of the multitude of cells, molecules,atoms etc constituting my being AND YET, I am much more than the sum of my constituent parts in terms of my CONSCIOUSNESS.


Does this imply that the “Universe IS God” (or at least, is his physical manifestation).If so, is the phrase “God created the universe” misleading? Is “God creating the Universe” and the “Universe creating God” synonymous??? God, in order to have created the Universe, should have existed before the universe and also, should continue to exist long after the Universe ceases to exist. In other words, he should be capable of existing independent of whether the universe exists or not. But consider the analogy wherein “My Body (read, the universe) is ME ( read, God). I cannot exist without my body. Neither before it nor after it. Therefore, a God whose existence is defined by his Universe would then be born , would exist and eventually, will die along with the birth and the death of the Universe (so much for eternal!!)


Enough for now. Time to headbang to some Japanese heavy metal. I think, therefore I am, therefore I headbang!!! Arigataou gusaimasu!!!

A Review of Terminator Salvation

So…..Was the Terminator series salvaged by this installment? If you go by the standards of the third one, HELL YEAH!!! The Terminator franchise which actually “fell” with “Rise of the machines” received a shot in the arm with T4. But before you get your hopes up too high, let me add here that T4, while being waaay better that T3, still pales in comparision with T2, plotwise and pacewise. (Don’t even compare it with T1. That movie was filmed in the 80s with stop-motion animation which is a far cry from present day CG).

The movie begins with a death row convict Marcus who agrees to let his organs be harvested. The scene then cuts to 2018 where all hell breaks loose with the protagonist John Connor smack in the middle of a melee of helicopters whirling noisily, random explosions, barking soldiers and of course, killer terminators.

The movie wears a serious tone throughout with a perpetually frowning Connor and a wooden faced Marcus, with the sole comic line coming in the form of a joke about “2 day old coyote tasting better than a 3 day old one” (No Shea LaBeouf quips here). The audience get to hear all the trademark lines like “I’ll be back” and “Come with me if you want to live” and experiance a sense of déjà vu during the Truck chase and Metal factory sequences which pay heavy homage to T2. One also gets to hear the legendary GnR track from T2 played on a stereo during a movie sequence.

Somehow Christian Bale again ends up playing a somewhat secondary role of a one-dimensional John Connor, while Sam Worthington steals the limelight as the conflict-ridden Man-Machine, Marcus (a la the Joker stealing Batman’s thunder??). The movie has many negatives in the form of a needlessly dragged ending, utterly unnecessary female leads (one of whom keeps giving big-glassy-eyed dumb ass looks) and an occasional overdose of CG sequences (probably an attempt to cover a weak plot). On the plus side, theres a CG Arnold (who drew the maximum hoots and whistles from the audience, including me), some badass bike sequences, the T2 tributes, and most importantly, IT WASN’T T3.

I would give it a 6/10 for plot, 8/10 for effects and an overall 7/10.Watch it.It aint as bad as some reviews make it out to be.

The Island of Dreams

Whisk me away to my Island of dreams
Not everything here is quite what it seems
The Stars twinkle bright on the ground below
The Rain feels dry on the Warm Black Snow

Whisk me away to my Island of dreams
Not everything here is quite what it seems
Where the Lights shout aloud,and Sounds shine bright
Where Silence is loud,the Tumult is quiet

Where Red is so Blue
And Violet's the new Cream
Where all the lies are true
And Reality's a dream

Whisk me away to my island of dreams
Where I Taste with my Eyes, and with my Ears I Scream
Where the thorn caresses softly like a lover's kiss
Where pain is pleasant, torture but a bliss

I take deep breaths so as to suffocate
And drink cool liquid to parch my throat
I refrain from flailing my limbs about
And sink so as to stay afloat

All that I hold dear,is what I hate the most
The dead walk alive, while the living are the ghosts
Where the Joyous lament,and the sane are dement
Angels are from hell and demons, heaven-sent

And though in my cold cell, in chains I may be bound
In my mind's Island is where I can be found
Though captive I am under lock and key
In my mind I still roam on my Island, free